A Match made in Heaven

As a neurotypical have you ever been the odd one out? Yesterday I had the pleasure of experiencing this. I call it a pleasure, because I have learned to enjoy my ‘out of the square’ experiences, thanks to living in my neurodiverse family.   While I am the odd one out in my family, what made this experience more delightful was that it involved someone who was not a part of my family.

I had gone to pick up my Aspie teenage daughter Humphrey, from her Aspie teenage friend’s house. I shall call him Wilbur (yes, he actually is male). I stood at the kitchen bench while I waited for Humphrey and Wilbur to finish their poorly timed lunch break. Humphrey wandered over to the kitchen cupboard to retrieve herself a cup. I felt that tug-o-war within. One end was held by my horror that Humphrey was helping herself to someone else’s cupboard without asking first. The other end was held by my delight that she felt so comfortable in a place other than her own space at home.

Unable to resist I announced in a sarcastic tone, “I am so glad you’re comfortable enough to help yourself to Wilbur’s cupboards.” Humphrey, picking up my subtle wrist slap (she’d had enough of them over the years to read the intention) responded with, “I don’t like people having to do things for me.”

As I processed and related to her sentiment, and was about to respond, Wilbur piped up excited by his discovery, “Excellent! I don’t like to do things for people! We are a match made in heaven!”

God I love Aspie logic! They make so much sense! Where else would a conversation like this evolve other than an Aspie kitchen? The sublime honesty, the pleasure in things fitting together, the authentic sharing. It was a delight to witness. No mind reading, no subtle inferences (other than my sarcastic interjection), no shoulds or oughts, rights or wrongs. No offence given and none taken. Complete acceptance of the way that it is. And it is exactly the way it is. I love learning from Aspies.