These trawls frequently encourage me to label, diagnose and interfere
more with the Aspies in my life. They encourage me to panic more, and feel more
discontent. Then I forget that my loved ones are people. They become broken
objects. They become that shirt that has a lost button, that dress with a hole,
that toy with a broken wing, in a pile waiting to be fixed as life rolls on.
I want a place I can
go to that will make me remember. Remember who they are, who I am and what it
is really all about. I want a place to go to share my stories, my feelings, my
pain and my revelations. I want a space to understand and find meaning. I want
to join with others who are seeking another way to do this Autism journey. A
way that remembers who we are, that remembers relationships, love and
connection before labels, features and techniques. A way that honours choice,
dignity, equality before imposing ideas on how to be and not be. A way that
invites and includes all of our journeys as humans, not focusses purely on the
narrow band of one person’s ‘dysfunction’. A way that celebrates all of life
and its complexities, while acknowledging all of our human struggles.
While I love a good idea and a top 10 list as much as the
next person, or an easy solution to a challenge I am having, I really just want
to feel that I am OK and my family are OK as we are. I want to circumvent the
anxiety I often feel as I wade through my life, and be OK with the way things are. I want
life to unravel at its pace, rather than corner it, and force it into
submission. While I want to be prepared for what lies ahead, I don’t want to
overwhelm myself and miss what unfolds between now and whatever I am preparing
for to happen (or not).
Here at the Bergenstreimls, I offer no answers or solutions.
Only perspectives. I do not pretend that Autism and our relationship to it, is as simple as a list
of strategies to try. Instead I offer stories, my reflections, validation and
empathy. I offer a lantern as my family and I walk the Autism Path, and I share
what I see there. It makes me laugh and it makes me cry. It makes me heal.
